Unfortunately I have not yet actually managed to buy the bento boxes for their lunches or book jiu jitsu lessons, and I will have to learn to like green tea, as it is foul, and I have not yet mastered French plaits, but I am quietly confident that these are mere details in my grand master plan… And I most certainly will not slump on the sofa at the end of the day, glugging wine and muttering ‘FML’ repeatedly. Yes, this year is definitely going to be much better – I am absolutely not going to shout at the children, let them stuff their faces with crisps or goggle away on the iPad. I am going to 100% nail being a school mummy this year.

But not only is she worrying if, at forty-two, she could actually get up off a bean bag with dignity, she's also somehow (accidentally) rebranded herself as a single party girl who works hard, plays hard and doesn't have to run out when the nanny calls in sick.Can Mummy keep up the facade while keeping her family afloat? Can she really get away with wearing 'comfy trousers' to work? And, more importantly, can she find the time to pour herself a large G+T?Probably effing not.First day back at school. Only Judgy, the Proud and Noble Terrier, remains loyal as always.Mummy has also found herself a new challenge, working for a hot new tech start-up. The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks.Welcome to Mummy's world.The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips.Mummy's marriage is feeling the strain, her kids are running wild and the house is steadily developing a forest of mould.

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